Am I a Bad Mom?

So I am just sitting here thinking how great it is that there is no noise around me and I can blog for a minute. As much as I love my kids, and obviously wouldn't have it any other way, I sometimes day dream of those days that are long gone...days that are just about ME! The excitement of Greg picking me up on a date, or the thought of when would I see him again. Or going out with my girlfriends with no guilt of leaving the kids and husband. Or my mother taking care of me. Or if I wanted to read ALL day long, I could. Or if I didn't want to be found, no one would try. Is this all bad of me? It's almost like confession time right now!

When I was little I just knew I wanted to be a mother more than anything in this world, but sometimes I wonder if I am cut out to have that much patience...and my kids aren't even teenagers yet! Now the last day of school is upon us and my boys will all be at home. Should I pray for patience? No, I probably won't...last time I did that I was tested to the max!

I do need to add a little blurb about Hunter, my 10 1/2 year old. He is a very loving boy, usually very mature for his age and I forget he is 10. Well, yesturday as he came home from school he was making a whole lot of noise. So I told him to please not make so much noise because the twins were asleep. But the noise continued and it kinda ticked me off that he would ignore me. So this time I was just a tad bit less and asked why he would ignore me and make so much noise. He blew up at me and told me that he didn't mean to. Doesn't he know that all I needed to hear was that the first time? No he doesn't know this yet, because he is a man child. So I send him to his bed, because obviously this behavior requires that he needs a nap. Then our neighbor came by and needed his help. I said only if you change his attitude. Sure enough, he came back from helping and he gave me a big hug and said he was sorry. Times like these are what makes it all worth it. Or when the twins call out to me "mama, where are you?" Just their sweet voices make me happy. Or when big Aust wants to do FHE and has us all write down nice things we are going to do to be like Jesus...and then all week he actually does it.

Anyway, life goes on and the reality of it is that I am a mother to four sweet boys and I wouldn't change it no matter what! Plus, I still love my jr/high school sweet heart...it can't get better than that, can it?